Of Peacocks and Disco Sticks
by T. A. Aberforth
Summary: "At least Lady GaGa doesn't sing about wanting to see people's peacocks!"  "Yeah, because wanting to take a ride on someone's disco stick is so much better!"  -Fluffy One-Shot, Klaine


**A/N- Damn these plot bunnies. I own nothing. Rated T for suggestive songs.**

XOXOXOXO

"Kurt?"

"Hmm?" The countertenor glanced up from his French II textbook at his boyfriend. They were sitting in the Senior Commons with Wes and David over to the side, playing Call of Duty: Black Ops. By the noises they were making, David was winning. The room was populated by a few other Dalton boys, but for 6:00 in the evening on a Thursday was pretty bare.

"Who's your favorite singer?" Blaine questioned.

Kurt gaped at him. "Are you serious?"

"Well I don't know for sure, you're so..." he struggled for the right word. "Versatile."

"Lady GaGa." Kurt looked back down at his studies and heard Blaine snort quietly. His head whipped up faster than you could say _Prada._ "Did you say something?"

"Of course not," Blaine smirked.

Kurt shut his textbook slowly. "Do you have a problem with Lady GaGa?"

"I don't have a problem with him. It's just that his screeching doesn't even begin to compare to the heartwarming tones of Katy Perry."

Kurt's face began to grow red. "Lady GaGa is a woman! She's only the biggest pop act to come along in decades. She's boundary-pushing, the most theatrical performer of our generation, and she changes her look faster than you can eat a Red Vine!"

"Lady GaGa is an auto tuned, insane, gender confused, and untalented _thing._" Blaine shot back.

"You take that back," Kurt hissed. "Katy Perry isn't much better with auto tune! As for talented," he sniffed haughtily. "At least Lady GaGa doesn't sing about wanting to see people's peacocks!"

"Yeah, because wanting to take a ride on someone's disco stick is so much better!" Blaine exclaimed.

"LoveGame is one of the best non-Broadway songs I've heard in years! It only has a few lines about disco sticks, Katy Perry wrote a whole song about peacocks!"

"And it's so catchy!"

"So are AIDS, that doesn't mean they're good."

"_I wanna see your peacock, cock, cock, your peacock, cock, your peacock, cock, cock, your peacock," _Blaine started singing and Kurt froze. Not here. Not now.

"_Word on the street, you've got something to show me, me," _Blaine was now dancing around Kurt while he stood mortified_. "Magical, colorful, Mr. Mystery, ee, I'm intrigued, for a peek, heard it's fascinating."_

David, Wes, and other students were beginning to stare. "Blaine, stop," Kurt whispered.

"_I want the jaw droppin, eye popin, head turnin, body shockin," _Blaine bumped his hip against Kurt's.

"_Uh, uh, uh oh, uh, uh, uh oh!" _ Interjected Wes and David, automatically picking up on the beat. Nick had grabbed his video camera and was recording everything. Including Kurt's tomato colored face.

_I want my heart throbbin', ground shakin', show stoppin', amazing  
(Uh, uh, oh, Uh, uh, uh, oh)_

I wanna see your peacock, cock, cock  
your peacock, cock  
your peacock, cock, cock  
your peacock

_Oh my God no exaggeration  
boy all this time was worth the waiting  
I just shed a tear  
I am so unprepared  
You've got the finest architecture  
End of the rainbow lookin' treasure  
such a sight to see _

"And it's all for me," Blaine whispered softly, his lips inches from Kurt's. Cheers and claps erupted around them, growing louder when Kurt wrapped his arms around Blaine's neck and kissed him passionately. Whistles, cat-calls, and David's sarcastic comment of "Oh god, get a freaking room, guys," could be heard, but none of that mattered to the countertenor. All that existed was Blaine, and his lips, his teeth, his tongue that massaged so perfectly on his that he felt his knees getting weak. Blaine wrapped one arm around his boyfriend's waist, pressing their chests together.

When they finally broke the kiss, Blaine grinned cheekily. "Like the song?"

"It's better when you sing it. But LoveGame wins every time, hands down." Kurt responded.

"Prove it."

"Is that a challenge, Anderson?" The boys began to circle each other like a pair of hungry wolves. "Bring it on."

"Let's see what you got."

"Alright." Kurt strode over to the bookcase and grabbed the handy karaoke machine. He scrolled down the list of songs until he reached LoveGame. He pressed play and the opening beat started up. "_Let's have some fun, this beat is sick, I wanna take a ride on your disco stick," _Kurt smirked directly at Blaine. "_Let's have some fun, this beat is sick; I wanna take a ride on your disco stick. __I wanna kiss you,"_ he blew a kiss at Blaine, winking. Blaine caught it theatrically, placing his hand over his heart.

_But if I do then I might miss you, babe_

_It's complicated and stupid_

_Got my ass squeezed by sexy Cupid_

_Guess he wants to play, wants to play_

_A LoveGame, a LoveGame_

_Hold me and love me_

_Just wanna touch you for a minute_

_Maybe three seconds is enough_

_For my heart to quit it_

_Let's have some fun, this beat is sick_

_I wanna take a ride on your disco stick_

_Don't think too much, just bust that stick_

_I wanna take a ride on your disco stick_

_Let's play a LoveGame_

_Play a LoveGame_

_Do you want love?_

_Or you want fame?_

_Are you in the game?_

_Doin' the LoveGame_

_I'm on a mission_

_And it involves some heavy touching, yeah_

_You've indicated your interest_

_I'm educated in sex, yes_

_And now I want it bad, want it bad_

_A LoveGame, a LoveGame_

_Hold me and love me_

_Just want touch you for a minute_

_Maybe three seconds is enough_

_For my heart to quit it_

_Let's have some fun, this beat is sick_

_I wanna take a ride on your disco stick_

_Don't think too much, just bust that stick_

_I wanna take a ride on your disco stick_

When he finished the song, the whole room began to applaud.

"So?" Kurt asked Blaine, eyes shining from the exhilaration and adrenaline of performing.

"Why don't we take a vote?" Blaine countered. "You know, just to be fair."

"Fine," Kurt said curtly.

"Good," Blaine said. "All in favor of Kurt?"

No one raised their hand.

"All in favor of Blaine?" Kurt asked the room.

No one raised their hand.

"What do you want then?" Kurt cried, exasperated.

"All in favor of Kurt and Blaine getting a room to take out their sexual frustration on each other in private instead of unleashing it on us in the form of song, no matter how entertaining it might be?" Wes asked, and a flurry of hands seemed to touch the sky.

"Well Blaine, it seems out talent is not appreciated here." Kurt sniffed, turning up his nose and taking his boyfriend's hand.

"Perhaps we should leave." Blaine began to march them out of the room.

"Agreed." They stalked out, hand in hand, fake offended. One they reached Kurt's room, Blaine pushed the countertenor against the wall, kissing him hungrily. Kurt moaned, tangling his small hands in Blaine's uncharacteristically messy hair. They broke briefly for air and grinned at each other. "I won," Blaine whispered.

"No, I won. I had a karaoke machine, you just can beat that." Kurt fired back.

"But I won something much more precious than a silly singing competition," The lead Warbler pulled Kurt over to his bed, sitting down and placing the countertenor on his lap.

"What's that?" Kurt began to kiss Blaine's neck.

"You and your love, of course," Kurt stopped his actions and looked straight into his boyfriend's hazel eyes. They were sincere and shining brightly, and Kurt felt his heart swell with tender love for Blaine. He was speechless in the best possible way.

When Blaine saw he had rendered his usually snarky boyfriend to nonspeech, he chuckled softly and laid down flat on the bed, taking Kurt with him. Kurt automatically cuddled against Blaine's chest, sighing in contentment.

"But Lady GaGa still can't match up to Katy Perry," he added.

Kurt sat up. "That's it. You're dead!" he pounced on Blaine, tickling him with all his might.

"Ah! No... f-fair!" he giggled, squirming to get an upper hand.

"I'm... gonna... kill... you!" Kurt punctuated each word with a kiss.

"If you do it with your mouth, I'm surprisingly okay with that."

They collapsed together, breathless and giddy, still giggling like mad. Blaine looked over at Kurt. "Truce?"

"Truce." They sealed their promise with a kiss.

Blaine hadn't been joking about his victory. Even though it wasn't a competition, he had won Kurt's heart, his love. He got to feel it everyday, through ever held hand, kiss, cuddle, and hug. It was the most precious thing he owned, and he wouldn't give it up without a fight.


End file.
